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Pleasuring myself

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Pleasuring myself

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Can't get the hang of it, or hitting a masturbation rut? These masturbation tips will blow open your world of self-pleasure and change everything you thought you knew about how to masturbate.

Okay, it's pretty likely that you've touched yourself before, even if just tentatively in the shower during that period of teenage exploration.

That being said, plenty of women don't really know how to masturbate, let alone actually reach a full O on their own. And well, part of the reason is kind of depressing.

Self-pleasure is one of the most empowering and radical things a woman can do in this world," says Rena McDaniel, M.

Learn how to masturbate not only boosts your confidence and personal pleasure but learning what you do and don't like on your own makes it easier for you to enjoy—and actually get off—with a partner.

Not to mention the epic health benefits of masturbation! And if you haven't touched yourself since getting married or having kids, then we highly suggest you read ahead.

If you've never had any luck with a solo session, remember: No one gets buff after one trip to the gym.

The more you do it, the more you'll learn not just how to masturbate but how to masturbate for you , says Emily Morse, sex therapist and host of the podcast Sex with Emily.

But even if your tried-and-true method works like a charm, over time that routine may start to feel a little, well, routine. Feel like you never have the time?

Put it on your calendar, she suggests. McDaniel agrees, adding, "We make time for the things that are important to us. Give yourself permission to spend time on your own pleasure.

It's true: Female sex drives are more sensitive to stress than those of males, meaning we have a harder time feeling aroused when we're in a bad mood, according to research from the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction.

Exercise, take a walk, draw yourself a nice bubble bath, or set aside 15 minutes to meditate," Morse suggests.

Play with your labia lips, move them around, slide your fingers up and down-just get a feel for your body like you're an alien visiting a new planet," she says.

Gunsaullus recommends something she calls "meditative masturbation"-using mindfulness and all five senses to create a romantic, nurturing, and cozy environment for yourself.

Draw yourself a bath complete with bubbles and a glass of wine, turn the lights down in the bedroom and light a few candles-create the kind of environment for yourself that you would for a romantic partner.

Want more guidance on it? Check out Gunsaullus' guided visualization. Need a little erotic enhancement to put you in the mood?

McDaniel prefers silicone-based lubes, particularly SKYN Maximum Performance , which are equally safe and need to be reapplied less frequently than water-based.

Either way, avoid oil-based lubes, which are harder to clean up and can break down both condoms and sex toys. She texted me late one night saying 'OMG.

I didn't even know,'" says McDaniel. If you've only been using your fingers, it's time to treat yourself: When you're ready to try a sex toy, Morse suggests starting small.

If this isn't your first rodeo and you'd like something a little more invigorating, try the Form 2 by Jimmyjane. Levine suggests starting with a slow full-body self-massage.

You already know the one or two spots that can send you over the edge, but now is your chance to discover untapped sources of pleasure.

Levine says to pay special attention to your neck, the back of your knees, your thighs, and your perineum, which is the stretch of skin between your vagina and anal opening.

After your massage, avoid falling into your time-worn getting-off pattern. Switch up your position, suggests Levine: If you always masturbate while lying on your back, try it on all fours, or sitting in a comfortable chair, or even standing, bent over a table or the bed.

Try kneeling as if you're straddling your partner. Variety is key to your sex life, so why shouldn't that extend to your self-love life? If you need more convincing, know this: By masturbating the same way every time, you might have more difficulty getting off when you're with a partner.

So stay flexible. Speaking of which, consider taking a yoga class and then getting it on with yourself as soon as you arrive home, says Levine.

In other words, yoga can diminish all those thoughts of your boss, your bank account, or whatever other worries might distract you.

Now, getting back to your vibrator. If yours is a trusty rabbit style, it might be time to introduce vibrator 2.

Perhaps something that hits the doubted-by-scientists-but-not-by-women G-spot? A rabbit is tailored to the clitoris. Draw a bath, climb in, and go to town.

Aim the toy's curve toward your navel when you insert it—the G-spot is a couple of inches inside the vagina, on the front wall.

No problem, says Leigh, who is all for clitoral focus. It often requires an electrical outlet and can be noisy as all get-out.

But if nothing else will get the job done, this will. Of course, toys aren't everyone's cup of tea. And that's fine. All that matters is that you feel good.

And if you're playing sexy music, massaging yourself, and writhing in a chair while feeling good, all the better. Weight Loss.

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